I can't tell if this guy has the best or worst job ever.

Japanese Emergency Toilet

Went to Bourbon and Branch Friday night to celebrate a friend's birthday. Always a nice time, though pricey. Had a fantastic classic cocktail that may be my new favorite, The Aviation.

Everything about Bourbon and Branch screams class: gorgeous and immaculate pressed tin ceiling, flocked velvet walls, waitresses dressed like they're ready for a starring role in a cabaret performance, and the dimly lit rooms -- including the black-clad restrooms.

However...

Maybe it's just because I am a woman and take care of business sitting down, but this always weirds me out:



















It's like a black hole. Couple this with the dim lighting, and you don't know what you're getting yourself into.

At long last! Here is my Japan fashion, shopping/trends, and wackness report -- smallish, but fresh!

1) Vinyl Vinyl Vinyl

First and foremost, *surprise!* I did some serious damage at the record shops.

I picked up too many records to list, but some of my prizes include: Public Enemy's Fear of A Black Planet, Portishead's Dummy (with postcard insert to join their fan club), Beastie Boys' Check Your Head, Gang of Four's Entertainment, Sun Ra's The Heliocentric Worlds of Sun Ra, Killing Joke's What's This For...!, a 4AD copy of The Birthday Party's Prayers on Fire, The Creatures' Boomerang, a plethora of Pogues records, and an Italian pressing of Nino Rota's soundtrack to Fellini's 8 1/2.

All in all, I bought about 50 records and only dropped a little over $200 -- meaning I bought plenty of those records for under 500 yen ($5)! And this was after sadly finding my regular downtown haunts picked over pretty thoroughly. But I discovered a place where I cleaned up, at a fraction of the cost of the Shibuya and Shinjuku shops. Sorry, I'm not telling where!

I do, however, want to pimp this really small but lovingly cared for record shop in Shimokitazawa, where I picked up my Tom Waits Swordfishtrombones and Sun Ra record:



















2) Fashion report

Japan, land of Lolitas, Fruits, and people dressed as anime characters, can get a little overwhelming. What are the real people wearing?

The three biggest things I noticed this time around:

-- Weaves. OMG, they were everywhere!

-- Tights. Specifically, day-glo, bright/deep jewel tone, or patterned tights with knee high (and often hooker-esqe) boots and those infernal and unwilling-to-die formal shorts. I am not into high-heeled boots, and I will NOT wear formal shorts, but I did snatch up plenty of bright tights on Takeshita-dori.

-- Russian-style furry hats. I think 90 percent of the female population under 40 in Japan owns something that could be placed in this category. And hey, I wanted mine! But while I loved the look on Japanese women, I just didn't feel like I could pull off the volume. So, I compromised:



















But no matter what the trend, the classics still endure...















3) Drink trends

Always killer food in Japan, and delicious Japanese Coca-Cola (I believe sweetened with stevia), but many drinks have lacked in days past. Not so this trip.

Coffee in the late 90s and early 00s commonly used to be served already sweetened and creamed; you had to order "American kohii" to get an unadorned cuppa. But since Starbucks crashed the scene a few years ago, coffee is gaining prominence, and getting better every time I visit.

This was an "American kohii" I ordered in an independent cafe in Asakusa. What I got was an Americano. Needless to say, I was pleasantly surprised. Beautiful!



















And another thing: in 2004, you couldn't get a good glass of whiskey to save your life. And while there were plenty of swank bars, the nice ones were prohibitively expensive and the cheap ones were...atmospherically challenged. But just a couple of weeks ago, in Osaka, I went to a daytime cafe/nighttime whiskey bar chain called Pronto, where I had a glass of 12 year-old McCallan for $6. They also had quite a few other high quality bourbons and scotches for around $6-8 a glass. Very reasonable.

My friends and I also happened upon a bar in Kichijoji called Funny Fly, where we were treated to more reasonably priced, medium to high-end whiskey in a tiny, dark, smoky, jazz-laden slip of a space.

We also got the fancy ice cube treatment I've been hearing so much about:















Apparently, there are swank places that actually hand-carve their ice cubes into the oversized faceted ball shape you see above, but here's a tip: I found trays that make these cool ice cubes all over the 100 yen shops. Must pick one up next time.

4) Social dynamics

Japan is changing. Slowly, painfully, for better or for worse -- but it is changing.

It shocked me that I saw a significant amount of obese Japanese. Not overweight, but obese. Chalk it up to all that great cheap whiskey and delcious ramen, as well as a country where fast food is becoming a mainstay and portions are getting bigger.

I was also shocked to see rampant hand-holding. This practice, that Trevor and I engage in like it's going out of style, made Japanese we know uncomfortable just a few years ago. But this time in Japan, I even saw a middle-aged salaryman and housewife couple holding hands! Awww, labu labu.

The dog-as-accessory seems to be gaining as a practice too. There were so many little dogs being paraded around Tokyo, with their little dog outfits. Little dog outfit shops were taking up space in every corner of the city.

One can, however, take this too far:



















This is a big dog. Little dogs are bred to suffer the indignities of wearing tiny hats, sweatshirts, and leg warmers; big, strapping, working dogs like this one should not be dressed up like clowns. Look into his eyes -- he wants me to save him.

Last but not least, no post about Japan and its awesomeness would be complete without a bit on the Japanese toilet. My love of the Japanese toilet is well-documented. But while I have extolled the virtues of the Japanese toilet for some time, I haven't shown what makes it so wonderful until now. Courtesy of the Narita International Airport, here is the Japanese toilet, in English!

Some things I am loving right now:

1) Vegan eats at The Golden Buddha:














Actually, I'm also loving the entire stretch of Clement Street in the Inner Richmond where this restaurant is located. Here exists the most extensive and lovingly displayed anime toy store around, as well as the smallest but most fashion-forward Goodwill. Wondrous Asian shops selling everything from Chinese herbs and dried fish to firecrackers and probably Mogwai are also quite abundant. But it is truly the restaurants that rule!

2) This picture of James McAvoy from the August 2008 issue of Details magazine:


















Holy hot hell. You really must embiggen and get a look at those eyes. Sweet mother of god.

Such a perfect 21st century, iconic photograph -- the type that will get referenced in his future retrospective -- but still not unlike one of my favorites of Paul Newman from the 1960s that was featured on the cover of GQ last year. Yum.

Not only is Mr. McAvoy also yum, but seems smart and grounded, and BTW did you see Atonement? The man can act. On his way to legendary.

Details, however -- eh, not so much. More like creepy and trying too hard. But this is pretty funny.

3) The wallpaper in the ladies' room at The Avenue (may be NSF your W).

4) yoCup in San Francisco, and live culture, probiotic frozen yogurt in general. Now that this phenomenon is exploding in Northern California, I am crossing my fingers for one to open up in Oakland so I no longer have to dream constantly of 150 calorie tart goodness topped with enormous succulent blackberries. Damn, I would BART across the Bay right now if they were open.

5) Cocktails at Flora, especially with my sweetie, and my good friends Chris and Jumoke. Never was much of a gal for gin, but you learn something new everyday!

Americans! Japanese-style sexy toilets are coming to a town near you. And at half the price!

I’ve mentioned before how very seriously Japanese take their bathroom activities. From the ubiquitous Toto Washlet found in so many homes with heated seat, bidet, and blow dry, to toilets in even the most run-down mall that serenade you with chirping birds while you do your business (or, rather, serenade the people sharing the bathroom with you), to Starbucks loos that are more luxurious than my Japanese apartment ever was, Japan has the market cornered on toilet tech.
























If you are as fascinated with this as I am, check out the future wave of toire in today’s Japan Times.

A Toto darling is the advanced Apricot F5A featuring a fragrance dispenser, a light sensor so you know where to aim (an innovation for male users fumbling in dark bathrooms), a spotlight for reading (if you plan on a lengthy visit), and naturally, an embedded MP3 player.

A frikken mp3 player, yo. That cannot be good for you.

But watch out Toto!

Toto isn't the only Japanese firm hawking fancy toilets. Manufacturers like Matsushita and Inax have joined the battle to provide the most beneficial, hygienic, and luxurious lavatories. Some toilets take your blood pressure or conduct urine tests, then send the information to your family doctor. Other repositories blast cool air in summer and heat in winter. And still other highly superior sandboxes allow you to set the pressure of jet sprays designed to massage the rear.

I always thought the sexy toilets were only limited to “Western” style. Nope – this last trip I hunkered down in a train station WC over the traditional personal trough in the floor and lo and behold – soft music came out of nowhere to mask my tinkle. I looked around frantically to figure out how I triggered it, and my eyes finally settled on a metal plate anchored to the bottom of the trough. Stop tinkle, stop music. Genius! Well, except for what happens if it’s not a tinkle. And oh my, those poor repairmen.

Anyway, for future reading, Wikipedia has the BEST article on Japanese toilets around. Learn about toilet slippers and Otohime, and why no one seemed to care when some dude peed into the bushes next to where my hubby was sitting, in broad daylight in a crowded shopping area.

EDIT: OMG! You must see the Toto Washlet US website from the beginning. "Washlet is the bathroom feature with one fixation -- your happiness." Awesome.