There's an instrument that's been developed in the last 25 years, where you can point it at a product and it will tell you exactly what chemicals you need to make that smell. We can duplicate anything. If you can smell it, we can duplicate it.

Whaaaaaaaaaaaat? And there's no cure for cancer?

As someone who hates being assaulted by smells -- chemical, natural, "good" or otherwise -- UGH.

Inside Smellvertising, the Scented Advertising Tactic Coming Soon to a City Near You

Though I must admit a certain amount of adorable squee for the term "jacket potato."

As an aside, my mom said when she came to the United States one of the first things she noticed was that Americans had a bad smell -- something she attributed to the large amount of meat and dairy in our diets. I know Japanese households have a distinctive and consistent smell for me, so I'm not surprised.

I wonder what chemicals that contraption would list to recreate my smell?

Whenever someone tells me women are now on the same level as men in Western society, or that they have it easy, I just think about all of the men and women who are still alive who remember stuff like this.

Ladies, ladies. One word: bourbon. Two birds, one stone.

Oh Arizona.




















Tombstone Politics

This is a tragedy that I think anyone with a reasonable bone in his or her body saw coming in some form or another, and as such I've been really at loathe to add my voice to the chorus of voices condemning the radical (and mainstream) right wing for their perceived role, but in the end there are too many implications around all the things I complain about with modern day dumb American politics to NOT comment.

Part of my hesitation to comment is sorting out my feelings around the idea of free speech, and where it crosses the line into incitement of violence. What would seem like clear ignorant nut jobs like Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin encouraging others to be ignorant nut jobs is one negative consequence of the right to free speech. So do we "compromise liberty for security and then deserve neither" and all that jazz? I'm somewhat reminded of the criticism of gangsta rap and the Tipper Gore PMRC hysteria years, and the attempt to link music to gun violence and suicide.

But music is entertainment, not real life. Yeah, I always say certain bands and songs shaped who I am, but the people who really shape how I am obligated to live my life within the confines of the laws of my country -- as well as those non-politicians with immense political power -- need to hold themselves to a higher standard, and use common sense with their constituencies.

Utilizing gun sights to indicate targeted lawmakers, rhetoric about "reloading" not retreating against lawmakers, and talk from (aforementioned nut job endorsed) candidates about being angry enough to use "Second Amendment remedies" is clear incitement to violence.

Would the sympathizers stand for environmental radicals like the ELF using gun sights as the symbol for targeting lawmakers in an election who had abysmal environmental voting records? Of course not. And nor would they stand for anyone using that same rhetoric to target lawmakers who were anti-health care bill, or anti-DREAM Act, or anti- any other countless thing that would be good for the United States that right-wingers deem "Socialist" or "anti-American."

The nasty "make the rich richer" liars that make up the Republican Party, and the redneck laughingstock that is the Tea Party claim to want less government intrusion in their lives. *snort* Do we need to legislate their common sense? It has to stop.

Look out, the lunatics are on parade!

Obama Protesters Bring Their Guns

About a dozen people carrying guns, including one with a military-style rifle, milled among protesters outside the convention center [in Arizona] where President Barack Obama was giving a speech Monday — the latest incident in which protesters have openly displayed firearms near the president.

I am in full support of the Second Amendment of the Bill Of Rights, but within reason, and with some damn common sense. The people with guns are saying it's a political statement -- "if you don't use your rights, then you lose your rights" -- but it's ridiculous to be waving around, carrying, or otherwise displaying guns near the President of the United States.

As usual, what many people seem to conveniently forget is that with rights come responsibilities!

Just for fun, I checked out the open carry wiki for the US and I was very surprised by what I saw:














The blue states are where you can open carry with little or no restrictions -- that means they allow a non-prohibited person to carry a firearm in plain sight without permit or license, whether on foot or in a motor vehicle. I had no idea there were so many states that allowed this! Some of them seem like givens, like Vermont and South Dakota, but Arizona? Right on the edge of California? Damn.

At long last! Here is my Japan fashion, shopping/trends, and wackness report -- smallish, but fresh!

1) Vinyl Vinyl Vinyl

First and foremost, *surprise!* I did some serious damage at the record shops.

I picked up too many records to list, but some of my prizes include: Public Enemy's Fear of A Black Planet, Portishead's Dummy (with postcard insert to join their fan club), Beastie Boys' Check Your Head, Gang of Four's Entertainment, Sun Ra's The Heliocentric Worlds of Sun Ra, Killing Joke's What's This For...!, a 4AD copy of The Birthday Party's Prayers on Fire, The Creatures' Boomerang, a plethora of Pogues records, and an Italian pressing of Nino Rota's soundtrack to Fellini's 8 1/2.

All in all, I bought about 50 records and only dropped a little over $200 -- meaning I bought plenty of those records for under 500 yen ($5)! And this was after sadly finding my regular downtown haunts picked over pretty thoroughly. But I discovered a place where I cleaned up, at a fraction of the cost of the Shibuya and Shinjuku shops. Sorry, I'm not telling where!

I do, however, want to pimp this really small but lovingly cared for record shop in Shimokitazawa, where I picked up my Tom Waits Swordfishtrombones and Sun Ra record:



















2) Fashion report

Japan, land of Lolitas, Fruits, and people dressed as anime characters, can get a little overwhelming. What are the real people wearing?

The three biggest things I noticed this time around:

-- Weaves. OMG, they were everywhere!

-- Tights. Specifically, day-glo, bright/deep jewel tone, or patterned tights with knee high (and often hooker-esqe) boots and those infernal and unwilling-to-die formal shorts. I am not into high-heeled boots, and I will NOT wear formal shorts, but I did snatch up plenty of bright tights on Takeshita-dori.

-- Russian-style furry hats. I think 90 percent of the female population under 40 in Japan owns something that could be placed in this category. And hey, I wanted mine! But while I loved the look on Japanese women, I just didn't feel like I could pull off the volume. So, I compromised:



















But no matter what the trend, the classics still endure...















3) Drink trends

Always killer food in Japan, and delicious Japanese Coca-Cola (I believe sweetened with stevia), but many drinks have lacked in days past. Not so this trip.

Coffee in the late 90s and early 00s commonly used to be served already sweetened and creamed; you had to order "American kohii" to get an unadorned cuppa. But since Starbucks crashed the scene a few years ago, coffee is gaining prominence, and getting better every time I visit.

This was an "American kohii" I ordered in an independent cafe in Asakusa. What I got was an Americano. Needless to say, I was pleasantly surprised. Beautiful!



















And another thing: in 2004, you couldn't get a good glass of whiskey to save your life. And while there were plenty of swank bars, the nice ones were prohibitively expensive and the cheap ones were...atmospherically challenged. But just a couple of weeks ago, in Osaka, I went to a daytime cafe/nighttime whiskey bar chain called Pronto, where I had a glass of 12 year-old McCallan for $6. They also had quite a few other high quality bourbons and scotches for around $6-8 a glass. Very reasonable.

My friends and I also happened upon a bar in Kichijoji called Funny Fly, where we were treated to more reasonably priced, medium to high-end whiskey in a tiny, dark, smoky, jazz-laden slip of a space.

We also got the fancy ice cube treatment I've been hearing so much about:















Apparently, there are swank places that actually hand-carve their ice cubes into the oversized faceted ball shape you see above, but here's a tip: I found trays that make these cool ice cubes all over the 100 yen shops. Must pick one up next time.

4) Social dynamics

Japan is changing. Slowly, painfully, for better or for worse -- but it is changing.

It shocked me that I saw a significant amount of obese Japanese. Not overweight, but obese. Chalk it up to all that great cheap whiskey and delcious ramen, as well as a country where fast food is becoming a mainstay and portions are getting bigger.

I was also shocked to see rampant hand-holding. This practice, that Trevor and I engage in like it's going out of style, made Japanese we know uncomfortable just a few years ago. But this time in Japan, I even saw a middle-aged salaryman and housewife couple holding hands! Awww, labu labu.

The dog-as-accessory seems to be gaining as a practice too. There were so many little dogs being paraded around Tokyo, with their little dog outfits. Little dog outfit shops were taking up space in every corner of the city.

One can, however, take this too far:



















This is a big dog. Little dogs are bred to suffer the indignities of wearing tiny hats, sweatshirts, and leg warmers; big, strapping, working dogs like this one should not be dressed up like clowns. Look into his eyes -- he wants me to save him.

Last but not least, no post about Japan and its awesomeness would be complete without a bit on the Japanese toilet. My love of the Japanese toilet is well-documented. But while I have extolled the virtues of the Japanese toilet for some time, I haven't shown what makes it so wonderful until now. Courtesy of the Narita International Airport, here is the Japanese toilet, in English!

So many people out there are really wack. It scares me how many wack-ass people I probably pass by every day. But sometimes it is entertaining to think about how many of the seemingly normal folks on the subway with me, or who are making my food, or you know, doing other important things like handling my tax return at the IRS or my prescription at the pharmacy are this type of special.

Man Cuts Off, Microwaves Own Hand

Man Who Hid Knives in Pants Stabs Self

Men Haul Roommate's Corpse to Store to Cash His Social Security Check

Bill Would Ban Swearing in Bars