Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Today all I could think about after I got off work was blogging about all the happy little things that just make life NICE. But first a little weird with the happy. Please bear with me.

We had a two-hour, all-staff meeting today to talk about the new proprietary database we are bringing on (of which I will be administrator) that seeks to integrate 12 or 13 Excel spreadsheets and numerous paper forms currently used to store and analyze the two-thirds of our data not corralled in our donor database and Quickbooks (I know, this is probably BO-RING, but again, please bear with me here). Mind you, this is an organization that just began using computers two years ago, so I think a lot of us in the six-month-young administration team were expecting some resistance. It is a huge emotional and cultural change. I also felt somewhat unprepared to be a spokesperson and rah-rah for our pro bono database builder.

Visions of a nightmare meeting, we sit down to cookies and donuts, yada yada -- not only did I get concise and concrete feedback for tweaks needed to the new database, I left feeling like this is actually going to work with minimal drag, and that people are on board and ready to be flexible and make it work. So, happy day at work, feeling competent and valued, part of a work environment that is not just paying lip service to the term teamwork, and got to flex my noggin without exhausting my capabilities. A workday that was, in a word, perfect.

That's all happy, I know, but you need context for the weird.

Talked with Trevor before I left work, and he said he was watching The Descent and that he would fast forward through it so I wouldn't come home to a scary monster movie (so sweet). I said no worries, I'll just get on the laptop and face the other way so as not to watch.

After having a challenging but super day at work, and walking home feeling mentally "up," I sat down at home and did my online business, facing away from the desktop Mac where Trevor was watching the film.

I don't know if y'all seen The Descent, but in a nutshell it is an excruciating mess of auditory pain and suffering. I think if I had watched it, it would've been better, because listening to constant screams, moans of pain, crying, and predators/prey ripping flesh and shrieking, without visuals, subtly did a number on me. After the film was over, I suddenly felt very tired, needy, and nervous. I called my friend because I hadn't heard from her in a few days and IMO she's got potential for possible bossman freakout in her life right now, so I in turn freaked out a little when her phone just rang and rang (she's fine, just crazy busy training a new person before she quits in a week).

I am a Cancer, through and through, and I am fully aware of my ability to hone in on a vibe and take up the energy from it for better or for worse. But this really fascinated me today because it was just aural, and I wasn't really even paying attention to it, or so I thought. It just reinforced for me what is done to your mind, even subconsciously, when you are exposed to any kind of even low-level hum of negativity for a period of time, and how that can affect your conscious life. A little grr argh is healthy, for sure, but I guess it also made me think more about cultivating more compassion for people who are grring and arghing more than their fair share in life, even if they are grring and arghing at me.

Anyway, Trev and I went for a long walk to get Gordo burritos and decompress. And now that we've walked a few miles and talked out the mysteries of the universe and I have whole wheat bean and cheese goodness in my belly, here's the happy!

seeing my breath in the morning chill; seersucker striped pants and furry hood and snowboarding socks pulled up to my knees under it all; buying cookies from Betty's today for my coworkers and Michael sweetly stashing an extra of each one I ordered in the box; Linda bringing donuts for everyone too; emerald hummingbird darting around a pine tree on my walk home from work on Telegraph today; crescent moon on its back, a bright slice of silver watermelon in the black sky; in the shadow of his smile; the kid Trev sees at the bus stop everyday by his work who wears a Naruto headband without irony (he'll be the coolest boyfriend someday...); the Berkeley fuzz in the taco shop say please and thank you and are in great shape and look super hot and actually pay for their burritos (and we, incredulous, laugh at our shock and remember where we are from); Wikiality, or The Truthiness Encyclopedia; the hardest choice in life -- burnt caramel or candied ginger ice cream at Ici?

I got the burnt caramel.

1 Comments:

Blogger stardust_savant said...

Allow me to add something to the happy list - 20 oz. cups of tea.

January 26, 2007 at 3:06:00 PM PST  

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