Monday, August 13, 2007

When I read things like this I want to seriously move far away from the Bay Area to a cabin in the woods and never come out.

Spa camp? For children? Is this for real? Or is it something conjured up by Fox News to make the Bay Area look even more insane?

"This class is good for little kids because they need to relax more," [Maggie, 6], said, lifting her handmade lavender-scented eye mask for an interview. She said her anxiety comes from arguments with her parents over going to bed when she wants to stay up and read her mystery books. Another stressor is struggling with new tasks, like washing the dishes.

"I can do it for like 15 minutes, then I start feeling like I can't, and I have to take a five-minute break. I use that method to get through it," she said.

Sorry sweetie, but your parents telling you what to do isn't something that facilitates being so stressed that you need self-indulgence reserved for adults with real stress in order to deal. I hope this is being conveyed to her; otherwise, this is just nurturing psychosis around normal childhood. You know what works well for kids (and some adults too?) Get off the Wii and go outside. Jump around. Make mud pies. Eat ice cream. Anything but wallow in how much you need pampering and a eye pillow at age 6.

But you know, I bet life is a real bitch if your parents send you to spa camp. I can only assume any 6 year-old having her normal anxieties pandered to like they're going to destroy her is not getting modeling nor encouragement of healthy coping mechanisms in the first place. Poor thing's gonna prolly need therapy to deal with the injustice of real life -- that you can't take a 5 minute break every 15 minutes when you have responsibilities. Never mind the cruelty that is learning new tasks and adapting successfully without needing shiatsu or a lavender sachet at every turn.

It is utter shite like this that makes me truly feel like we're devolving.

And y'all just know leviathans and such are marking time until that happens, when they will flood the earth and take over, and we'll all be screwed. Man, that's when we'll need those killer robots to do battle for us. Hope the humans that end up with the "technology over all" part of human devolvement get those suckers online in time.

Um, camp for kids bad! :)

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Blogger stardust savant said...

Wow. I blame the parents. There is no little kid that will think or express themselves like that unless they saw their parents do it first. They're so young that they are still getting the majority of their thought and decision making processes from their parents. Or nannies, as the case may be. I think their caretakers need to be sent to "Knock Some Sense Into A Whiny Bitch" Camp.

August 14, 2007 at 4:38:00 AM PDT  
Blogger LAS said...

I'm sending my kid to Leviathan Camp.

August 14, 2007 at 1:47:00 PM PDT  

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