I was clearly born to host a dinner party in the wrong era.

Liver Sausage Pineapple

21 Truly Upsetting Vintage Recipes

Okay, so y'all know I've been seeing a new acupuncturist who is giving me something that smells and tastes like pee pee to drink for part of my treatment.

What y'all don't know is that I'm also on a detox diet for the duration of this treatment. I am supposed to abstain from:

sugar
caffeine
alcohol
beef
pork
fried food
rich food
spicy food

And, it goes w/o saying -- my occasional yummy Nat Sherman.

Which, you know, pretty much means abstaining from MY LIFE.

But the funny thing is, the tea I drink twice a day actually helps me not crave this stuff. And I've lost 5 pounds. So it's all good, right?

You would think so.

Today we went to a poetry reading at McNally's, home of the best damn Guinness pour this side of the Bay. And good god, I almost cried because I couldn't have one.

So, today, an ode -- to all the foods I've loved before:

Alcohol:


















Sugar (my ultimate chocolate bar):


















Rich and Fried and Pork (homemade pork gyoza at Rikyu):














Caffeine (Blue Bottle espresso):














Sigh.

Where's the spicy food? Forget it -- that one actually hurts too much to post anything. I regularly eat so much spicy stuff that the evidence would just be a picture of me with a big grin. So sad.

Wingsuit flying:



Wow. I wish I were just a wee bit more brave.